So emotional

11.21.11

I’ve been thinking a lot about this being in control of my emotions. I don’t feel like I have any control over them right now. They are completely out of control. So, no I do think being emotional means being out of control. That is me right now. I spent months putting up that wall and ignoring all of those feelings. I was sad and depressed and wanted to kill myself, but I put the wall up and ignored it. I did that so I could function. Now apparently I have let these feelings build up inside of me so much that it knocked the wall down and everything came out and wouldn’t stop.

So how do I see that being emotional can be a good thing? I can’t handle the amount of emotions that are coming at me right now. They come up at the most inopportune times. Like crying at church yesterday, crying on the phone with the QVC customer service rep, crying at work, having a panic attack at walmart.