Anxiety and Panic

9.9.09

 

Didn’t sleep well last night. I haven’t slept really well in a week or so. I am not sure why. I usually go to bed alright, but I usually wake up early and start worrying about work or something and can’t go back to sleep. Maybe I will sleep better tonight. I am going to workout.

 

Today wasn’t much better than all of the rest of the days. I wish it was. I wish I could get better. I wish I could have a good day. I wish I could really enjoy something besides Gilmore Girls reruns. But nothing ever seems to get better. It just seems to get worse.

 

I got really anxious today…I guess I sort of had an anxiety attack or something. I came home around lunch and started working on some stuff and realized that I couldn’t do any of it. There is so much of my job that is out of my hands and the people that I need to talk to are never around. And when it comes right down to it I will get blamed for it. I really hate my job. And I don’t see it getting any better. And what is sad is that I don’t see any other job being any better either. I don’t see life getting any better. I just want it to be over.