Overworked

 8.21.09

 

Today was another day. By that I mean another bad day. With A being gone, A was having me do all of this stuff. I just felt so bombarded and overwhelmed. There is all of this stuff that they want me to do that I hadn’t planned on. I don’t like to do things spur of the moment. I don’t want to work that much. And I can’t say that I don’t already have plans because I really don’t. My plans are to come home and go to bed early. Oh and workout.

 

So really I really can’t say that my plans are more important. People don’t understand that I need that time off. I need time off. At least 2 days a week. And I really don’t like to work nights either. I can work 40 hours, but I am no good after that. I don’t function well without rest, without time to myself, without resting time. My brain hurts, I am tired, and I am irritable, and I don’t have a very good attitude. I am not good at socializing after a certain time. I have a limit on the amount of socialization I can stand then I start shutting down and not talking. I can’t function.

 

So today, there I was getting text after text from A on all of these things that A was supposed to do and that I had no idea about. There is a game of the week that you have to go tonight, where is the banner? What are we going to do about this??? Everything. And I just lost it. It was Friday, I had already had enough breaking down all week long and I couldn’t take anymore. I went in the bathroom and cried. And I knew that it couldn’t last long since it is a public bathroom. So I decided to just get my stuff and go home to cry. On the way out I ran into A and he started asking me questions. And I was still obviously upset. So I finally broke down and cried in front of A and S. Not my finest moment. I just felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. I felt like they needed to know how all of this was affecting me.

 

They were concerned about it and both said that they knew how I felt. So it was a good thing that I told them. At least they would know where I was coming from and would maybe take that into account when they bombarded me with stuff to do or whatever.

 

A is trying. I know he is. But he just needs to understand that I am too and that I am having trouble doing the most basic things these days. I just wish I could snap out of it.