Thoughts of a raving lunatic

No, no...I am not actually a raving lunatic, but I am definitely not a princess living in my fairytale world. 

I have changed a lot since my last post on this page. Things have been very bad in my life. I have and am still going through some really crappy stuff. I wonder if I will ever be normal again. 

I kept a journal off and on during these last 4 years. It is VERY personal. There are some very scary thoughts that I have and still have. So I am hesitant to post it. Everyone that has read any of it says I should do something with it...it might help someone somewhere. Or it could backfire and someone at my job could see this or a friend and take me to the crazy house. But it does document the beginning of this whole thing rather well. So maybe I will just start at the beginning and see how it goes. 

Some background before I post the first entry: I had recently taken a catering/marketing job at a well known, well liked fast food place. That is where I am working in the beginning. I had also just returned from a spiritual walk and gotten very close to God.