Joan of Arcadia

I just go through watching the first season of Joan of Arcadia, which I hadn't seen before. I kind of jumped on the wagon a little late on that one...and then it got canceled (but we won't get into that one right now). But it really is such a good show. And the right show for me to watch right now. I know it is a tv show and all, but I really think that God is trying to speak to me through the show...Not like He talks to Joan on the show or anything, but just hints. The last episode of the first season was the best. Joan's mom said that she talked to a priest about why God allows bad things to happen.

She said that there are periods of consolation and desolation. Consolation is when you are right with God and you are connected and you feel like you are doing what He wants you to do. And desolation is when you are not connected and you don't know what God wants you to do. You feel confused and angry and frustrated. And all you are left with are your own thoughts and those thoughts are dark. But there are still answers in desolation and strength. And when Joan's dad asks how long it lasts. Joan's mom replys "as long as it needs to."

Hearing her describe that feeling of desolation was like looking into my own heart. It was what I was feeling. It was my life. My problem. What I had been crying about all week. God isn't talking to me. God isn't giving me answers. The title of the episode was even "Silence." That is what I am going through right now. Silence from God. The last shot of the episode is God going into Joan's room and standing over her...putting His hand on her forehead. It was like He was saying even though I am not giving you the answers that you need I am still here. I have not abandoned you. I will get you through this. I even went back and listened to the commentary on that scene and it just said exactly what I thought it would say. God will take care of you.

I am still frusterated. I am still confused. But it is kind of like I know that maybe I was meant to go through this. This is where God wants me. He wants me to wait.